Some teams are clear on what they are building, ask useful questions, and hold each other to a standard. Others get caught in blame, excuses, and fixing work that is not theirs. These patterns show up everywhere.
Originally described by psychologist Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. Every person and team lands in these roles sometimes, especially under stress.
Experiences events as happening to them and loses sight of available choice.
Locates the problem in another person and reaches for blame or control.
Steps in to fix what is not theirs to own, often weakening the person they mean to help.
David Emerald identified three productive roles in TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic). People may assume them intentionally or simply fall into them when the work is going well.
Focuses on the outcome and takes responsibility for the next useful action.
Holds a standard, names reality, and supports growth without turning challenge into attack.
Asks questions that help others get clear, choose, and act instead of taking the work away.
The three questions give leaders a way to intentionally shift themselves and their teams from reactive roles toward creation, learning, and useful action.
The framework gives people language for what is happening without the observation landing as an accusation. Once a team agrees that “we are in Victim mode on this one” can be useful rather than insulting, the conversation changes.
It is also fast. People recognize the drama triangle immediately, often with a laugh, because they have lived it.
Kevin is a certified TED* and 3VQ facilitator. He uses these tools in one-on-one coaching and leadership-team work when what the work reveals calls for them. Sometimes something else fits better.
Start with a real situation, name what is happening, and find the next useful move.
